


Blokes like Us

by pipblakely



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Fluffy Ending, Forbidden Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Queer History, Romance, Suggestive Themes, spoilers for the film, they finally gave thomas a boyfriend and im really happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-04 01:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21189296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipblakely/pseuds/pipblakely
Summary: Thomas is holding on desperately to the first man to return his feelings in full. Rich Ellis is all he ever wanted and everything he feels he doesn't deserve. To make it even worse they have a long distance between them, the fear of being discovered and the dark unforeseeable future. Somehow, even in Thomas's dark mind Rich makes all things seem possible.





	Blokes like Us

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for myself to read and it was in chapters but now it's just one big thing, why not eh? I basically just fell in love with the pairing since I saw them on the big screen and I've loved Thomas since the beginning. Hope you like it. <3

No one else could understand what it means to be me right now… no one, except perhaps the man who's holding me in his arms. I've been lying here for god knows how long, and he's still fast asleep. Not that I'm complaining or anything, I'm more comfortable than I've ever been. But the sun's rising now and I know we've only got half a day to spend before we have to take that awful walk to the station. I try nudging him again, and I feel him let out a long sigh. His hand grazes up my back sending me in shivers.

"'Bout time." I say raising onto my elbows. He's smiling up at me, squinting in the morning light.

"I apologise, next time just shake me." He mumbles. We shift in the sheets and we're sitting up together.

"I couldn't bring myself to. But shouldn't we be getting up? We've only five hours left." I tell him. He pouts at me. He's even irresistible pouting.

"Don't say that."

"Don't tell you the truth? I'm afraid that's all I can do Rich." He turns his irresistible pout into a gorgeous smile. And then those lips are pressed against mine. I press a hand to his cheek and kiss him hard. I grip onto him partly because I know soon he'll be taken from me again. I hate the way things are so damn much. But I can't be completely bitter anymore because I love him so damn much. It would cost me everything to admit it but I know I do. We part after some time and agree we can't get carried away again when we have to make the most of the day. He sees me watching him get dressed so I busy myself.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"Trying to make it look like the other bed was slept in." I say, crumpling the sheet and then remaking the bed, slightly messily.

"I told you, they're not explicit about it but this is one of those inns that gets people like us. I've seen pairs of men, and women in fact, come and ask for a room here plenty of times." He says, coming up behind me to kiss my neck. He can only calm my nerves halfway.

"Yeah well… they still gave us two beds didn't they? Just keeping up appearances." He makes me turn to him.

"Listen, Thomas. I would never take you anywhere you could get found out. But you just tell me if you're scared, and I'll be there." He says, my hand in his. Of all the things I wish we could be free to do… just holding hands like this. Around people. How is that bad at all?

"Me? Scared?" I scoff. "How can I be with my knight around?" He chuckles, raising my hand to kiss it. "Rich…" I whisper, before what I know will be us getting carried away again. "We really ought to be getting on." We decided to take a turn through St James park. I asked him to forgive me but I'd had enough of sightseeing from yesterday. He was a wonderful tour guide though, he lights up talking about London. He's quite the swot when you ask about the history of a place and can even get me interested. He completely belongs here, anyone could see it. Which is why when he said- "I'll resign and come to Downton with you." I laughed.

"No, you won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will! God, Thomas we sound like children, I want to be with you. I'll move." I shook my head, grinning.

"Fine, I bet you would choose stinking Yorkshire over London to be with me. But you shouldn't. You'd hate living there and then you'd hate me."

"I could never." He says, I glance to see his earnest face.

"Well, it's a terrible plan in lots of ways. No one would believe a royal footman would come to work for minor elite family of his accord. Everyone would know."

"That's actually a good point. But you know that I would do that for you? That I'd give up everything for you?" He stops walking and I turn to him. I don't think I've done anything to deserve him.

"Yes, I believe you. That's all I need, don't throw away anything for me. Promise?" I touch a finger to my lips. He smiles and does the same.

"Promise."

"Good. Now sir, aren't you going to give me a history lesson on this park?"

And after a day and a half of bliss here we are again. Bloody Victoria station. I hate this place. It's where we say goodbye, and I can't give him a last kiss or even be too mushy about it. The place is packed.

"Goodbye for now." He says, in the voice he uses for the rest of the world. He holds out his hand and I take it for one last touch. We don't even shake, just stand there for a second before dropping our hands to our sides.

"Goodbye. Mr Ellis." I say, in my own reserved tone. "Don't send a letter until you get mine." He nods, smirking a fraction. The conductor calls for last boarding and I step onto the train. Blasted train, I hate you almost as much as Victoria station. I get into a seat where I can see him on the platform. He's still there, I don't think he leaves until the train is out of sight. I see him smiling at me, making my heart ache. He walks in pace with the departing train until he runs out of platform and disappears from view. I stare ahead and face it. I am alone, once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was apparently, fine without me at Downton. Why do I bother showing up then, I wonder. They're just finishing serving dinner so there really is nothing for me to do. Mrs Hughes catches me moping in my office. Crying. Worse still, she caught me looking at Richard's locket. The one he gave me to remind me of him when we were apart. I slip it in it's drawer and wipe my eyes, sniffing loudly to pass it off as allergies. I've done it before.

"Evening Mrs Hughes." I say, seeing her eyes flick to the drawer and to my face. Her vice I must say, is nosiness.

"Good evening Mr Barrow, how was London?"

"Fine. I was mainly there to see my aunt as you know." I say. Ah yes, I'm pleased with that one. My city-dwelling aunt who played a significant part in my upbringing. Significant enough for me to get time off to visit her.

"Oh yes, your aunt. How is she?" Hughes prods.

"Still very ill I'm afraid. She's hanging on though, strong woman."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is that why you were crying just now?" She says. I open my mouth to explain but she raises a hand and I falter. The butler is supposed to be the head of the servants, yet I'll always feel like a scheming footman in her presence. She closes the door to passers by and sits across from me. "You don't have an aunt in London." She said. I look at her and feel stupid for ever thinking it would work. She sees right through me. I shake my head. "I thought so. But you are visiting someone. And it wouldn't be my place to ask about your personal life at all. Except it's clear to me, ever since you started making visits to London that you'd much rather be there than here. It seems to me you're distracted and that isn't making your work very easy." She says. I clench my hands together on the table.

"I've heard that more times than I can count. That I'm not capable of this job."

"Now that is not what I said. I'm sorry I haven't said it before but I'll say it now: I think you have handled this responsibility incredibly well."

"Second only to your husband of course." I grumble.

"You are here because you can do things Mr Carson cannot. I'd like you to know he agrees with me. If he didn't I think he'd be down here every day watching you decanter the wine right." She makes me laugh a little.

"Thank you. But clearly you think I've been slacking recently."

"Well, you're getting everything done, all right. But you're not enjoying it, not at all. You'd rather be somewhere else" She says. I sigh and look away from the truth of it all. Nosiness aside, I regret any bad word I've said against the woman. She's the best thing this house has. If she went on regular outings then the place would really suffer. "I wish you'd tell me who or what is causing it." She says and I look at her. I believe she'd keep a secret, she's done it before for others. The question is do I even want to? Is it worth the shaming and risk? Half of it isn't my secret to tell…

"I'm afraid I can't say. But if it's being this much of a problem I can easily stop going."

"No, Mr Barrow. That's not what I want. I'll leave it for now. Now shall I catch you up on what you missed?" She says and drops it. For now. I really should have stuck with the sick aunt thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My dearest, Thomas,

I did as you asked and waited for you to send the first letter of the week. I know you prefer to get the first and last word of everything and I don't mind. I want you to. The more you speak and write to me, the more I get to listen. About the talk with Mrs Hughes I appreciate you stopping yourself from coming out with the whole secret.Though, I hope you aren't mistaking nosiness for genuine concern. This may come as a shock but not everyone wants to make you an enemy. From what you've told me and my own interaction with her, I can't believe she would make it her purpose to ruin anyone, least of all you. The thing is, you might find you need an ally. I have Miss Smith, but you, you're alone over there and it worries me. If not her you might find someone you trust enough to tell. To share the burden with. To protect you where I can't reach you. You have my permission to gush about our forbidden love as long as you ensure they wouldn't judge or persecute you at all. Stay vigilant. Knowing your paranoia I'm not too worried. You'll make the right choice.

Forever yours, Rich

I read it three times before I go to put it with the others under the floorboards. This one's sadly short compared to most, but it gives me more than enough to think about. Richard Ellis, who got me out of jail, who taught me not to be reckless: wants me to tell someone everything. Well surely he can't mean everything. The thing that's leaving me with the most whiplash is that word. That word I haven't dared to say or write. "Love". It almost makes me think he's teaching me a lesson. Because I'm bursting with joy and dying to tell someone.

Well I don't want Mrs Hughes to be the one. I respect her and she probably suspects me already but I just don't feel she's the one to confide in. What if I told her, what then? What advice or comfort could someone like her give someone like me? There is someone, who might be familiar with some of my pain. I consider it all morning. On one hand, of course I can't tell Anna. We said we'd buried the hatchet about the old me but has she ever really forgiven me for being so horrible to her and Bates? I'm not sure I could've. On the other hand, I really want to tell her. In a different way she's had her love taken away. When Bates was in prison she had all kinds of dirty looks thrown her way. And I wished all that time I could've gone to her and said, "I know how it feels, to be hated for loving someone." I think she'd caught onto my contemplating. I must've been looking in her direction too much. She caught me in the hall after breakfast.

"Are you alright Mr Barrow? You look lost in thought." She says. I get an urge to blurt out my life story. I've never felt like this. The walls I've built around me have been getting weaker and weaker.

"I'm fine, Anna. Thank you." I say. She looks incredulous but starts to leave.

"If you're sure." I watch her go and remember Rich's words. About finding an ally. About having someone to talk to, share the burden and all that… Well if there's one thing I can't bear, it isn't the fact that I'm a queer. It's the heartache I feel from being over 200 miles away from the man I love, and knowing I can never marry and grow old with him like any man and woman could.

"Anna, wait!" I catch her on the stairs.

"Yes, Mr Barrow?" She says, awaiting a command.

"I have got a lot on my mind in fact. Now, I wouldn't want to take time away from you being with your family but- I wondered if we could talk. I think there's something I need to tell someone and I'm not sure who else-" She stops my stuttering and mumbling.

"It's alright Mr Barrow. I've told you before you could talk to me any time. In your office after I've gotten Lady Mary ready for bed?" I'm a little stunned, I'd forgotten she'd offered. I never thought she'd meant it.

"Alright then. Until then, we better get to work." I say and walk with her the rest of the way up the stairs. Now I have something to look forward to. And dread.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"... I know everyone knows. But no one wants to talk about it, which is why I feel so guilty right now. I realised today it would be burdening you. I don't want to go back to being cruel to you-"

"Mr Barrow, may I say something?" She asks. I nod, keeping my eyes to the floor. "You're right we've known for a long time. Even before the incident with Jimmy."

"I see… explains a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've never felt like I fit in with any of you. Probably because you were disgusted with me and wanted to keep me at a distance-"

"Wrong, Mr Barrow, you kept yourself at a distance!" She snapped. I'm stunned to silence. She's never raised her voice to me before. "Now listen, we knew but we never wanted to draw attention to you or get you in trouble. I can only speak for myself. But I've never thought any less of you for that. I've judged you only on your actions."

"I wish we could just say it! I'm-" I see the look on her face and lower my voice. "Oh what would you call me? A lost soul? A sodomite? A queer? A puff-"

"Stop it. I would never call you any of that." She says. I try to calm myself and look her in the eye. I believe her, somehow. "I will admit. I don't understand all of it. So you must try and explain and please, don't snap at me. I want to be on your side. All you have to do is let me." I've come too far now. I take a long breath and think of Rich.

"These past few weeks, I've been visiting London to see someone… You remember when the royals came to Downton? Well that's when I made the acquaintance of one of the royal footman."

"Richard Ellis, yes I remember you making friends with him."

"Do you? Well we've been writing ever since. And I hope you understand we're…. I can't say it.."

"More than friends?" She says. I can only nod. "I see. Can I ask.. how you feel about him?"

"How I feel?" I say, not sure how I'll ever get out words I've never said before. "I love him. The same way you love Mr Bates. And I'm ashamed to say it but I'm not ashamed to feel it." My throat goes tight and I feel the oncoming tears. I hate this. This isn't comforting at all. "I love him and it hurts so much- we can never be together- I thought you'd understand, Bates was taken from you- but you got him back! And that can't happen for us, I have no hope!" I collapse pathetically, sobbing into my hands. Everything's out and I can't put it back. My breathing is ragged and panicked, I hate feeling like this. I hate it I hate it I hate it- Anna is next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder, firm yet gentle. She said nothing until I was myself again. She just stayed close. I might've found my ally.

Anna starts meeting me in my office at the end of the day. Not every day, of course, she has a family. But little and often I start to talk about Rich. It's nice, I'll admit. I realise there's so much I want to talk about.

"So I waited for him, for most of the night. And eventually this other man at the bar starts giving me looks, so I got a sense he was… like me."

"Really, is it that easy to tell?"

"Well I was only sure when he came up and started asking me to go somewhere with him. His name was Chris Webster. Decent looking chap, no Richard Ellis of course. I went with him because I was so eager to meet someone like me. If only I'd known how Rich was the same I might've stayed.. anyway he took me to this little warehouse, the man at the door knew him and I'm suddenly in this tiny club. They've got a swing band going and there are men there dancing with each other, everyone is being completely themselves. Chris asks me to dance and I'm enjoying myself so much that I never thought for a second we were in danger. Then the police came."

"My goodness… You got arrested?"

"I did. My first time in a place like that was soon my last. It was incredible while it lasted."

"Well, however did you get out?" She asks. I smile to myself, thinking of how I felt when I walked out of the station in relief. To see him waiting for me.

"That's where Rich comes in. He saved me. With a believable story and a flash of his card indicating him as a royal servant. He also helped me get rid of the footmen that night by the way, he can be a real trickster sometimes.. I wish I could've seen the policeman's face, Rich said he started apologising like he'd been told he'd offended the crown prince!" We both laugh, Anna looking like she knew him already.

"I'd like to meet him. You know, you've said you've always gone down to London to see him. What if he came here for once? Show him your territory?"

"No, his work is far more important than mine, I doubt he'd be allowed… I don't want him to risk all he has." I say. I find myself smirking at a thought.

"What is it?" Anna asks.

"Something Rich said. He said he would leave his position in Buckingham palace to live here with me. Can you believe that?" I say. She smiles.

"Ask him if he would visit. It can't hurt to ask."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My beloved,

I have something I need to say to you. Something that hurts too much to be left unsaid. I want to let you into my life but as I have said it is hard to do when I've never let in anyone before. I'm glad I did as you said. Anna has helped, much more than I thought. She says she'd love to meet you. More than that, I need to see you again soon to say what I need to say. This time, might you consider coming here to me? If you can make the time I'll find a place for you to stay, if not I'll get the next train to London when I receive your reply.

Yours, Thomas

I had never been so nervous to open mail before. But when his reply came he said by the time I was reading it he'd already be on his way to Yorkshire. However he got out of work so quickly I'll never know. I was waiting at the station in plenty time to see it pull in. Suddenly the platform was full of people and I was dodging and craning my neck to see him, praying I wouldn't somehow lose him in the crowd. But the crowd was soon thinning, the train pulled away and I was looking around a nearly empty platform. He wasn't there. A hundred terrible possibilities collected in my head- I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned irritably. Leave me alone to panic about my lover's whereabouts would you? I turned to face Rich Ellis.

"Rich!" I said, exhaling relief. My hands leapt forward to grasp his arms. As if to prove he was really there. He'd had a haircut, he looked so sharp and handsome and in a complete league above me.

"I'm sorry, I thought you'd be at the house, I went right out. Then I thought you might be waiting for me and so you are."

"What do you take me for? Of course I'd wait for you." I say. But I'm aware we're not alone on the platform and I shouldn't be touching him. I shouldn't look like I want to kiss and embrace him though that's all I want to do. I take a step back. I catch a glance from the ticket seller but no one else seemed to notice. I take a moment to drink in his physical presence before he walks me down to the house. I'm still working today. Now more than ever I expect everyone will notice my distraction.

Our lips crash the moment we're alone. I introduced him as my friend to everyone so it was well above board and we would be allowed to be alone a few minutes alone to talk in my office. We'd have to make a big show of him leaving again but right now I didn't care. I just wanted him close to me. I was sitting on the desk as he made me love him more and more. I wrapped my arms around him, he put his hands on my thighs and I felt hot. I had to make him stop while I could still control myself. God forbid Carson ever knew what occurred in his old office. Poor man would've died of shock.

"I missed you." I said between deep breaths.

"It was only six weeks this time." He said and I had to kiss him once more.

"Too long." I said when we separated again. He smiled that heart melting smile and stroked my cheek.

"Enough of that, anyway. I believe you have something to tell me." He said, going to sit in my chair. He sat there in expectation, leaving me to settle my beating heart. This was it.

"Right, yes. Richard I need to be honest with you..."

"Ah, we're being formal now are we?" He said with a smirk.

"Please. Let me." He nodded seriously at my expression.

"Go on." He said. I took a breath and let it out.

"You only know about me what I've let you see. And this last… what, year?"

"A year and five months," he said without falter.

"Right. Our time together has been the happiest of my life. But before now I was not the same person. When you're not around I'm not the same person. Not too long ago I… I hated myself and what I was so much I took it out on everyone around me. I wanted them all to be as miserable as I was. I had no family, no one I could call friend except a scheming old bat.. and then even she left me and I was completely alone. I had attractions to men who were completely disgusted as soon they realised. My only relationship was with a Duke who was using me only to toss me aside after, you remember me telling you… After all that, meeting you… having you, it's all seemed too good to be true." He stood and came over to take my hand.

"But now you do, wholeheartedly." I looked at our hands, and felt myself falling. "If you can't say it, I will. Thomas, I love-"

"You have to leave me." I blurted out. I locked eyes with him and regretted it immediately. His perfect smile was gone, he had an expression I never wanted to see on him.

"What?"

"Leave me. Go back to London and forget about me." I choked out. He was smiling through tear filled eyes.

"No I won't. That's your problem Thomas Barrow, you're stuck with me."

"Rich-"

"No, I know this isn't what you want!" He placed his hands on my face. "Don't you see? You've just told me, you've always pushed everyone away. You can't push me away too." My head leans forward on his shoulder and he holds my shaking body. "I've been thinking too, and you're wrong about me being tied to London. I'm only tied to you. I don't think you're attached here either so I think we should just escape. Start new, I was thinking New York. We'll find work and live together as old bachelors, with two bedrooms for show. We'll find our people around the city and let them know they're always safe and welcome with us. We'll grow old and in my heart we will be married. As married to each other as any two people could be." I stare up at him. In disbelief.

"You have everything a man of our class could ever want. You have protection from harm with your status…" I pause, I feel a tear roll down my cheek and onto his hand. "I love you, Rich Ellis. I love you and I never want any harm to come to you which will happen if you stay with me. I can't let you throw away your happiness." He pulls me to him at the rise of a sob. When I'm able to I embrace him. He calms me much sooner than I ever could on my own.

"My only happiness is with you. I love you too Thomas, more than I could ever tell you. Besides, I have nothing to lose."

"What?"

"I resigned just before coming here. I knew once I saw you again I could never leave you." He says. I pull back and shake my head at him.

"I haven't done anything to deserve you." I say.

"Nonsense. You've saved my life." I opened my mouth but there's a knock on the door before I can say anything. I wipe my eyes quickly, Rich gets out his handkerchief and helps before taking care of himself.

"Come in." I say in my strongest voice. To my relief it's Anna. "Ah, Anna. This is Richard Ellis. Well, I suppose you've met."

"Not as friends. When the King and Queen came we thought of all her servants as high and mighty as them." She said.

"Well I'm certainly no higher than you. Anna Bates, I've heard so much about you." He clasps her hand, smiling back at her. You can hardly tell he'd been crying.

"And I you. Rich." She gave us both a smirk I never could've imagined on her. Rich looked from her to me and started laughing madly. Anna and I joined him. It all just seemed so ridiculous for a moment, and I was so caught up in joy I couldn't help it. The life Rich promised us… it almost seemed possible coming from him. And I had to hear him out now. He'd given up everything just for me. I keep thinking about something he once wrote to me: "Blokes like us will find our place in this world. Until they come around to how we see things we must love in secret but love with all our hearts."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Anything I can get you, Mr Ellis?" I hear the new boy ask me. I can't remember his name for the life of me, the way my memory is these days they don't blame me for asking something twice.

"Have the newspapers come yet?" I ask him. It took me a second, I was daydreaming again. Gazing out the window like a school boy. When there's not much I can do I guess I've turned to thinking instead.

"Yes Sir, I'll get you one." I watch him go. It's so strange to see a boy as a nurse. But then, I suppose it's the closest thing to a servant the world has now. That boy, he's only been here a week but I can tell he's as gay as anything. That's what they call it now, between themselves. When Rich found out he was enamoured with it. I had to pinch his arm to stop him from saying it all the time in public. He comes back and hands me the newspaper. The date at the top reads 29th June 1969. I can hardly believe the ages I've been through. Evident by the clothes of the visitors and that terrifying television box in the corner.

"Thank you.. I'm so sorry, I've forgotten your name."

"Will. Don't be sorry, you can ask me anything. More Tea Mr Ellis?"

"Please." He leaves me to my New York Times. I smirk at the "Mr Ellis" bit that's one of our proudest tricks. There was a mix up with our papers and we went along with it. Ever since we were legally seen in America as cousins, but we always thought of it as me taking his last name. I'm glad of it too, I'll hold onto every memory of him until my dying breath. It was a wonder I even saw it, it was so tucked away. Printed small next to an almost full page advert of a man and woman lying in sun loungers in their swim clothes. I was just pausing to wonder how they can show so much skin when I saw the article in the corner. The heading read 'Four Policemen Hurt in 'Village' Raid'. I could fill in the gaps when I read the rest, of course the mainstream press twists everything to reflect badly on the community. They'd never say how many 'homosexuals' had been hurt in the raid, or for the last century. I heard Rich's voice and stood up to get my cane and coat.

"Are you going somewhere Mr Ellis?" Will came back with my tea as I was about to leave.

"I have to see some old friends of mine. I hope you don't mind."

"Well, I've actually been told you can't go anywhere without supervision. I'd bend the rules except.. well I've only just started." I listen to his lilted Brooklyn accent and look at his delicate frame. I have to be right about him.

"You can come if you want to. It'll give you a break from fetching and carrying." I say and he looks eager to put on his own coat and walk with me to the door. We step out of the nursing home and make a slow pace down the street to the bus stop. I start talking to the lad, I find out he's a student studying to be a doctor. Then he starts asking about me.

"Well I moved here, let's see.. the summer of 1928."

"Geez, that is a long time ago.."

"Well if it wasn't you wouldn't be looking after me." I make him laugh a little.

"Well, what did you do in England as a job?"

"I was a servant. That's what a lot of people did when they weren't rich, they served the people who were. I was a butler to quite an established household at one time. But I left it to come here."

"Why? Did you think you'd make a better life in New York? 'The American Dream' and all that?"

"If only. No we struggled to find work in the beginning."

"'We'? Did you come with your wife?" He asked. I looked at him and considered him for a moment.

"Here's our stop." We got off the bus and kept walking, with him still hanging onto his unanswered question.

"Mr Ellis?" He hurried to keep up with my fast pace. Him and that whole home underestimate me. They think I'm crazy just because I talk to my dead husband. "Who did you come to New York with?"

"With Mr Ellis of course."

"Your brother?"

"No." I smirked to myself as I kept walking.

"Mr Ellis, stop!" I did and turned to him. "This is a kinda rough part of town, your friends live here?"

"It's not so bad. I used to live near here. With my partner, Richard Ellis." He looked at me with shock and if I guess rightly awe. I take him to a bench near the old church. "Ellis isn't my real last name. But when our documents thought it was we let them, for the thrill of sounding like a married couple. Which is what we were in a lot of ways. In all the ways that matter."

"But.. but how could you be? Back then?"

"Gay people didn't just spring into existence a few years ago to give the papers something more to worry about. I'm sure you know it's nothing like a contagious disease." He looks afraid to at first but nods at my assumption.

"I've never told anyone… there's no one I know who wouldn't turn me in for it."

"Well now you know me. And I wouldn't turn anyone in for something like that. Least of all a hopeful young lad like you."

"I appreciate it… so you really had a full life with the man you loved?"

"As much as we could. Of course we could never be public with it, we kept up the confirmed old bachelor's story and it helped that the government thought we were related. But we formed a circle of others like us, our little apartment became a place for the gays of New York to be themselves. Of course the other place for them to go would be clubs and bars but our home was much less likely to be raided by police."

"I heard about the riot yesterday… a friend of mine goes there, he got out before things got too bad."

"Clever boy. But don't get me wrong, I admire all those who stayed to fight. It'll be a long battle but they're showing the rest of the world we won't be trampled and discarded anymore. Our time is coming. I'm afraid I won't see the end of it but I have no doubt you will. I hope one day, you'll have the same right to love as anyone." I tell him. He nods with a true smile. Not unlike Rich's.

"You should be a spokesperson." He says. I shake my head and smile back.

"No, but I tell you who can be spokespeople, my friends, the queens. I'm sure some of them go to Stonewall although it's been too long since we've spoken. It was Rich really who held us together."

"I'm sure they appreciate what you've done for them just as much." Will says and helps me up. We walk to the apartment block and I hear Rich's voice again:

"Help them, for as long as you can. Don't rush, my love, I'll be waiting for you when you get here."


End file.
